


the sun never sets on us

by morganoconner



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Background Relationships, Conversations, Friendship, Gen, Post-Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 00:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18712486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganoconner/pseuds/morganoconner
Summary: Bucky can spot Steve's brooding, uncertain face from a mile away, mostly because it looks so foreign on the guy who usually knows his own mind better than anyone else Bucky's ever met.





	the sun never sets on us

**Author's Note:**

> Beware, here be spoilers!
> 
> I just...I can't seem to let this movie go... I mean, writing two days in a row, who even AM I anymore??

Bucky can spot Steve's brooding, uncertain face from a mile away, mostly because it looks so foreign on the guy who knows his own mind better than anyone else Bucky's ever met. He thinks about letting Steve stew in it for a couple days, because he knows exactly what's got the guy so torn up, but he can't take those sad eyes lighting on him whenever Steve thinks Bucky isn't looking. He caves in no time, plopping down next to Steve on the end of the pier that evening after most people who came to pay their respects to Stark have left.

"So," he says, nudging Steve's shoulder and getting a friendly jostle back.

Steve smiles at him, that same smile he always wears around Bucky these days, all pure and sparkling and like he can't really believe Bucky is actually there. It's enough to make a guy uncomfortable, but Bucky tries to let it slide, for Steve's sake.

"So?" Steve responds after a long moment of silence and smiling. He frames it like a question, like he hasn't had something on his mind all damn day, ever since deciding he'd be the one to take on the mission of getting the stones back where they belong. Like Bucky's as idiot who doesn't know Steve better than the guy knows himself sometimes. He lost a lot to the Winter Soldier, but he didn't lose that.

"So you're not comin' back." Bucky's watching him too close to miss the way Steve flinches like he's expecting a blow.

"How did you—"

"Stevie, come on now, how long've we known each other, buddy?" Bucky is sitting close enough that he can press his shoulder into Steve's again, a gentle nudge that lingers long enough to become something else, something warmer and more comforting.

"Too damn long," Steve sighs. He shifts, leaning back on his hands and fixing Bucky with an unhappy stare.

"Second you agreed to take those stones, I knew." Bucky shrugs, hoping the casual motion hides the way it stings, just a little. "Come on, Steve, you think I don't see you take out her picture and stare at it? Think I don't hear you including her in your prayers at night? You're never gonna stop loving that girl, and you're too damn loyal to settle for anybody less."

"Sharon—"

Bucky scoffs, doesn't mean to but can't quite help it. "Sharon's great in all kinds of ways, but she ain't Peggy." He doesn't mention the fact that Steve hasn’t even brought her up in months. God, years, now. Whatever started during the Accords mess didn't continue for long, and Steve's only bringing her up now as either a diversion or a test of the waters. Bucky's having none of that, thanks.

Steve looks away, eyes clouding over the way they always do when he's thinking of Peggy.

"Steve." Bucky turns so he's facing Steve directly. Reaches out with his flesh and blood hand to clasp Steve's shoulder. "You got a chance to go and get the girl. So go get her. Stop worrying so much. Hell, nobody deserves a chance at getting' the girl and the whole fairytale ending more than you."

Steve's mouth twists unhappily. "I just feel so selfish, Buck. There so much work to be done here, and now Tony's gone. And abandoning everyone who needs me, us, the Avengers…" He stops, swallowing hard. "And if I thought… If you still needed me—"

"I always need you, pal," Bucky says, and he says it quiet, honest. "But not the way I did. I feel human again, most days." He shrugs. "It's probably never gonna be perfect, but don't let me be the thing that holds you back. I'm better, Steve. I owe a lotta that to you. And for God's sake, you're not abandoning anybody to go and live the life you always shoulda had."

Steve ignores that last part in order to say, "You've always got me, you know." This time it's Steve who reaches out, touches Bucky's shoulder and looks at Bucky with such earnestness Bucky has to stop himself from going for an eye roll or a shoulder punch, the more default reactions he uses to deal with big emotions. "Even if…I mean. Even if I come back different, you know…" He stops just shy of saying _old_ , but Bucky hears it anyway. "Even then, you're always going to have me." He hesitates. "But I guess…well I mean, you have Sam now, too."

Bucky only doesn't jerk away in surprise because of years of ingrained training, but it's a near thing, and he can feel the way his face begins to flush. "I don't—"

"Buck." Steve quirks a grin at him, squeezing his shoulder. "I haven't seen you flirt that aggressively with someone since before the war."

The laughter escapes him without his permission, and it's pure instinct born from years of friendship and needling each other that makes him say, "Hey, back then you were still a scrawny little punk, I actually had a shot. Not worth it now when I'm standing next to Captain America, who the hell's even gonna notice me?"

Steve shakes his head, but he can't hide the fond smile sneaking across his face. "Well, Sam, for one."

"Geez, Stevie," Bucky says, ducking his face to hide how red it must be.

"I just, I guess it felt like it could be okay, if I'm not leaving you alone."

 _It would be okay if you were_ , is what Bucky wants to be able to say, but the words clog up in his throat because he can lie to a lot of people, but not to Steve. If Bucky didn't have anyone else, he doesn't know if he could let Steve go. He likes to think he'd try, but he's always been selfish, greedily gobbling up Steve's attention since they were kids and he could hide it under a fierce desire to protect. Steve's right, though. He's not alone now, has friends that he trusts to have his back, and who inexplicably trust him to have theirs. They aren't Steve, but they are something, and maybe that's enough. So that's what he says to Steve instead.

"You've come so far, Buck," Steve tells him, all heartfelt and, Christ, teary-eyed. "I'm so damn proud of you, you know that?" He doesn't give Bucky a chance to reply (what the hell would he even say to that, _geez_ , Rogers) before he adds, "I hope you and Sam will keep watching out for each other. If…If I'm doing this, well…" His eyes go to his shield, and Bucky can't stop the grin, or the huff of laughter.

"You're gonna come back here a decrepit old man, shock the hell outta that poor guy, and then throw this on top of the pile?" He shakes his head, smirking, then eyes Steve again. "You know he'll never think he's the right man for the name, or the job."

"That's just one of the reasons he's exactly right for it," Steve says with a nod, sure of himself the way only Steve Rogers can be without seeming like a complete asshole.

"You know, he called me _freeze pop_ this morning," Bucky grumbles.

Steve laughs, clear and bright, the sound carrying over the lake and sending a pair of water thrushes soaring. "You love it," he says, raising an eyebrow at Bucky even as he continues to chuckle.

God help him, he does. And damn Steve for knowing it.

After a long moment, Steve sobers again, and that deeply earnest expression is back to make Bucky's skin go all tight and hot. "Bucky. Finding out you were alive…that was the best part of the last thirteen years since I came out of the ice. It felt like I wasn't alone for the first time since I woke up. Even when you weren't yourself, you were still my best friend. I knew you were in there the whole time, somewhere inside, somewhere they couldn't get to. And all I want…the thing I want more than anything else in this world…is for you to be happy."

"Aw, for God's sake, Steve," Bucky says, and it comes out thick. He scrubs the wetness from his eyes but it just keeps coming. Lets Steve lean against him for a while as they both try to compose themselves. "You know that's all I want for you, too, you punk." He sniffs, tries to cover it by clearing his throat but knows he isn't fooling anyone. "I'll miss the hell out of you. But I can be happy if I know you're out there bein' happy too. Even if I ain't there to see it."

Steve's always been an old soul. By the time Bucky sees him again, he'll have the body to match, and that's…that's a lot. But it's also…it feels right. Steve could never get out of the past, not in his mind or his heart. Bucky, with all he's been through, everything he's become, could never go back, but Steve…he never really left.

But Bucky can be here to greet Steve when Steve has finally lived that full, happy life he's always deserved. Bucky can give him that.

"Am I really gonna do this?" Steve asks quietly, staring out at the lake, eyes already a million miles and fifty years away.

"Yeah, pal, pretty sure you are." Bucky puts an arm around Steve's shoulders, leaning in close again and pulling in a breath that only feels a little bit ragged. "You've earned it. And Steve, the rest of us, we're gonna be okay. I promise."

It's a promise he intends to keep, for both their sakes.

*

The five seconds pass, and of course Steve doesn't return to the platform. Sam panics, and that's hard to see, hard to know that they kept this secret from him. They both thought it would be better this way, nobody else getting the opportunity to give Steve an opinion when he needed to make the choice for himself, but Bucky didn't like keeping it from Sam. But what's done is done and sure as hell isn't going to be undone now.

Bucky looks around, because if Steve made it this far, if he's still alive, he'll be here. Bucky knows he'll be here. He made a promise. _You're always going to have me._

And sure enough, there's an old man sitting on the bench, staring out at the water, the shield wrapped and sitting innocuously beside him. _Dramatic asshole,_ Bucky thinks, fond. He wonders how much enjoyment Steve is going to get out of what's about to happen, thinks it's probably a lot.

Well. Sure won't do to keep him waiting.

Bucky tucks his hands in his pockets, takes a breath, and calls for Sam.


End file.
